ShoshanaRubin: 12/20/05

ShoshanaRubin: 01-20-06

There comes a time in life when we must simply stop our moaning and groaning and deep self-analysis and have a good laugh at ourselves. This is one of those times!

I read about many Israelis wanting a casino in Israel and I thought-why do we do everything so half-baked? We should have the grandest casino in Israel and call it the Hudna of Hevron. It will have whiskey, gambling, cigarettes and dancing girls, with raunchy entertainers and wild-eyed singers, who spread joy and passion.

The Hudna of Hevron should take bids from Las Vegas and New Jersey, on the casino and new hotels, take bids on which American mafia will hire and train employees, there are so many mobs, let them bid! I'm sure the American Indians would want to contribute to the Hudna, providing house tips on gambling and 24/7 used car lots.

Then I read how our good Jewish police officers are receiving special training on how to properly evict the Jews of Judea from their Jewish homes! And we have the nerve to call the Americans hypocrites? We are hilarious!

We hired a special psychiatrist to gently explain to our Israeli police the reasons their actions are harmful to Jewish children, let alone their parents, and thus, need notice of evictions in the future. I'm not sure if this was accomplished, as one Jewish policeman managed to whimper his truth that the Israeli police do not enjoy such evictions, and therefore will continue to do them in secret, to avoid the masses of true believers, "the idealogues" who the pornographic media follow around, wishing to leap at another Israeli insanity and tragedy.

And then I read about the new solar plant we're building, the best on the planet. We won't need to be dependent on Arab and American oil for long!

And the best joy of all came from the Jewish Yours Truly-the former Americans and the new Israelis, our gain, their loss. I loved seeing the sneers on the Arab faces, watching this holy spectacle, which is our reply to the haters of Zion!

Shoshana Rubin is a free-lance writer and can be reached at ShoshanaRubin@hotmail.com

A Sense of Humor

by Shoshana Rubin

There comes a time in life when we must simply stop our moaning and groaning and deep self-analysis and have a good laugh at ourselves. This is one of those times!

I'm not fully aware of my life-long ambitions, but one of them is not to sound like a Beatle-when I read the news today. I read about many Israelis wanting a casino in Israel and I thought-why do we do everything so half-baked?

We should have the grandest casino in Israel and call it the Hudna of Hevron. It will have whiskey, gambling, cigarettes and dancing girls, with raunchy entertainers and wild-eyed singers, who spread joy and passion.

The Hudna of Hevron should take bids from Las Vegas and New Jersey, on the casino and new hotels, take bids on which American mafia will hire and train employees, there are so many mobs, let them bid! I'm sure the American Indians would want to contribute to the Hudna, providing house tips on gambling and 24/7 used car lots.

Then I read how our good Jewish police officers are receiving special training on how to properly evict the Jews of Judea from their Jewish homes! And we have the nerve to call the Americans hypocrites? We are hilarious!

We hired a special psychiatrist to gently explain to our Israeli police the reasons their actions are harmful to Jewish children, let alone their parents, and thus, need notice of evictions in the future. I'm not sure if this was accomplished, as one Jewish policeman managed to whimper his truth that the Israeli police do not enjoy such evictions, and therefore will continue to do them in secret, to avoid the masses of true believers, "the idealogues" who the pornographic media follow around, wishing to leap at another Israeli insanity and tragedy.

And then I read about the new solar plant we're building, the best on the planet. We won't need to be dependent on Arab and American oil for long!

And the best joy of all came from the Jewish Yours Truly-the former Americans and the new Israelis, our gain, their loss. I loved seeing the sneers on the Arab faces, watching this holy spectacle, which is our reply to the haters of Zion!

Shoshana Rubin is a free-lance writer and can be reached at

ShoshanaRubin@hotmail.com